


One Ticket for the Berlin Express Please

by Gravytrain101



Series: Hogan's Heroes Oneshots [8]
Category: Hogan's Heroes (TV 1965)
Genre: Bleeding, Bomb, Explosion, Failed rescue attempt, Grief/Mourning, Hospital Visit, Hurt Hogan, Hurt Team, Passing Out, Possible Dead Character, Whump Hogan, injuries, train
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:33:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27662747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gravytrain101/pseuds/Gravytrain101
Summary: Crittendon gets in the way of the guys preventing Hogan from boarding that train. There's no way they will reach him in time. It's up to Hogan himself to get out of the truck before he boards the train with the bomb. Will he make it out in time? More importantly, what will happen to him and his team if he doesn't?Or, an alternative take on Season 3, Episode 19 (Hogan, Go Home).
Relationships: Andrew Carter & Robert Hogan, Hans Schultz & Robert Hogan, Robert Hogan & James Kinchloe, Robert Hogan & Louis LeBeau, Robert Hogan & Peter Newkirk, Robert Hogan & Wilhelm Klink
Series: Hogan's Heroes Oneshots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875991
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	One Ticket for the Berlin Express Please

**Author's Note:**

> Please read and enjoy!

Newkirk’s POV:  
“One more swing should do it sir,” I told Crittendon as he swung his axe at the tree we’d be using to block the truck so we could save Colonel Hogan. 

“You’re right ol’ chap,” he said. 

“Don’t you think we should chop it down before the truck gets here instead of waiting until the last minute?” Kinch suggested. 

“No my dear boy. It’s all about the element of surprise,” he said as I saw LeBeau give the signal to block the road. 

“Now!” I exclaimed as Crittendon gave the tree one last blow… before it fell in the other direction and the truck drove by.

“Come on. We can still catch them before they get to the train station,” Kinch said as he started to move in the direction the truck went. 

“Wait! The job is done, now it’s time to go back to camp,” Crittendon said. 

“Done? Are you out of your mind?” I asked as I got right up in his face, “Colonel Hogan is still on that truck, heading towards a train that will blow up in less than an hour because you failed to block the road!” 

“By the time we get ahead of the truck we would be by the train station where we’d risk getting caught ourselves,” Crittendon answered, “I will not risk the lives of 5 men just to save 1.” 

“Colonel Hogan would!” Carter exclaimed, “He’d do that for any one of us in a heartbeat.” 

“Well I’m Colonel Crittendon, not Colonel Hogan. Your previous commanding officer is long gone now,” he said as he began to walk in the direction of the camp, “Come along.” 

“He can’t expect us to just leave the Colonel to die!” LeBeau said as he watched Crittendon walk off. 

“It doesn’t surprise me that he thinks that. He has a few screws loose,” I said as I gestured towards my head. 

“What do we do?” Carter asked. 

“We go back to camp. We’ve wasted too much time arguing when we could’ve been catching up with the truck. Plus, we could risk getting captured ourselves,” Kinch said, “Colonel Hogan will find a way out if he gets an opportunity.” 

“Are you willing to take that chance, Kinch?” I asked, “I’m not.” 

“We can’t make it there in time to save him. In these circumstances, I am willing to take that chance,” he answered, “It’s in Colonel Hogan’s hands now.” 

“Bloody hell,” I mumbled to myself as we turned back to camp. 

Hogan’s POV:  
Just as a precaution, my men and I have multiple plans in place in case something goes wrong. We have multiple checkpoints that we always use, hidden signals, and different code words for multiple situations. The only problem is when a monkey wrench gets thrown into the whole thing. That monkey wrench just happens to be Colonel Crittendon. Whenever Crittendon comes along, something bad always happens. I started to get a bad feeling once we passed the next checkpoint my men were supposed to be at. They weren’t there. If they weren’t there then they definitely won’t be at the next one. Something went wrong. They got held up. They aren't coming. 

Now it’s up to me to get out of here. I only have Crittendon’s blade hidden in his stick but that won’t do me any good against 3 guards with guns. I could, at the very least, get rid of one but I’d probably be shot before I can get to the second one. 

I could jump out of the truck and make a run for it but I could risk breaking something. If I break something, that would slow me down and I could get shot. 

I could wait until I get to the train station and make a run for it there. Who am I kidding? I won’t be able to make it 10 feet without getting spotted or shot by one of the many German officers there. 

I don’t see a way out this time. I didn’t think today would be the day I’d go. But if I go out knowing that my men are safe and that I at least helped one person in my lifetime then I’m okay with that. 

“Move!” the guard said as he shoved me towards the end of the truck that I didn’t even realize was parked. 

I was placed in a car that was in the last half of the train which was good considering we placed the bomb at the front end of the train. I might have a fighting chance here. Not much but at least I have one. 

“Tell the conductor we’re ready to go,” the guard ordered another officer. 

“Can I borrow your watch?” I asked one of the guards. 

“Don’t break it,” he answered as the train started to move. 

I looked at the watch and saw I had two minutes to go. Not much you can do in two minutes, let alone mentally prepare yourself for your own death. 

At least I’m ready to go though. I hate to leave my family and friends in this way. I thought I’d have a chance to get married, have kids, and grow old. I’m at least happy with the life I had with the time I was given. 

One minute to go. 

Come to think of it, I already have a family. My men are my family. We grew so close over the years we’ve known each other. We went through highs and lows but we always came out of it together. Well… not this time. 

30 seconds to go. 

I’d like to think I’d made an impact on my men and those surrounding me though. I mean, we built an entire underground system right under the German’s noses! How many people can say that? How many people can say that with pride and joy that their operation is still standing today? I know my men will keep this going. I have all my trust in them that they won’t let what we created fail. 

5 seconds to go. 

I lean back in my chair and close my eyes. 

Well, see you boys on the other side. It was a good run and I’m glad you were in it with me. 

LeBeau’s POV:  
We stood in the barracks, waiting until we heard the explosion. Waiting until we heard the noise that would haunt us for the rest of our lives. Waiting for the noise that would forever be etched into our memory. Waiting for the noise that told us our beloved Colonel Hogan was gone. 

The barracks was noiseless as we heard the explosion of the train that took place miles away. 

“I’m sorry for your loss boys,” Crittendon said to everyone in the room, “Hogan was a good man and will be missed. Now, which one of you is the cook again? It’s been so long since I’ve been here last and I can’t remember.” 

“Excuse me?” I asked, “What makes you think I’d cook anything right now? Especially for you!” 

“You son of a bitch!” Newkirk yelled, “Colonel Hogan is dead because of what you did. We should’ve never let you come along. We could’ve handled it by ourselves!” 

“Nonsense. You needed a commanding officer with you,” he said. 

“No we didn’t. Newkirk is right, we would’ve been better off without you!” Carter yelled, “And how dare you move on from Colonel Hogan’s death so quickly. He was more of a man than you could ever be. Show some respect!” 

“Every war has casualties. You win some, you lose some,” he said as he shrugged. 

“That does it!” Newkirk yelled as he stomped over and punched Crittendon right in the face. 

“Corporal Newkirk!” he exclaimed as he held his cheek, “I’ll have your court martialed for this.” 

“Go right ahead, I don’t care!” he shouted as he poked Crittendon’s chest, “But I want you to know that you were the cause of Colonel Hogan’s death. His blood is on your hands and I will not let you forget it!” 

Crittendon looked around at the rest of the men in the barracks. He saw that we were all standing with rage, ready to defend our fallen comrade with our last breath. Ready to forget Colonel Hogan’s rules about fighting just for one second. 

Once he realized he wasn’t going to win this fight, Crittendon said he’d leave us alone for a while before he went to Colonel Hogan’s room. 

“That does it. Crittendon has finally lost his mind,” Kinch said as we sat at the table, “I mean what was he thinking dismissing Colonel Hogan’s death like that?” 

“I can’t believe he’s really gone,” Carter said as tears fell from his eyes, “There were so many things I never got to say to him.” 

“Like what Carter?” Newkirk asked. 

“We all know that we love and appreciate one another but we never say it,” he said, “I never told him I loved him. I never thanked him for saving my life. I never told him how much of a father he is, or was to me.” 

“He knows those things Carter, it’s Colonel Hogan we’re talking about,” I said as I put my arm around him. 

“I know he probably knows,” he said as he wiped his eyes, “But it always feels nice to hear it.” 

“That’s true,” Kinch said. 

“Okay, in case I don’t ever get the chance to say it,” Carter said as he looked each of us in the eye, “I love you all and I am glad you’re my friends.” 

“We love you too Andrew,” Newkirk said as he grabbed Carter’s hand from across the table as tears fell from his eyes. 

Hogan’s POV:  
I woke up to the sound of sirens which was weird. I wouldn’t think there’d be sirens in heaven. Something is off about this. Either I am not dead or heaven is not at all what I’ve pictured. 

All I could see was the blue sky in front of me, but I know there was much more around me. I could smell the smoke from a fire, hear the crackling of the flames, and hear the distant groans from the injured men around me. Okay, that does it. I’m not dead. I’m lying on the ground in the remains of the explosion my men and I caused. The sirens are getting closer and I need to get out of here. 

I go to sit up but realize I have to take it slow from the horrible pain in my side. I look down and see a gash in my side with blood oozing out of it. 

I do a quick run through of myself to see what’s injured and what’s not. As far as I can tell I have the gash in my side that hurts like hell, my left arm is broken from some sort of impact, another gash in my thigh, and a killer headache that’s most likely from a concussion. 

I have to get out of here and these injuries are not going to help me at all. I have to work fast before someone can prevent me from leaving. 

It took some time but I got my jacket and khaki shirt off. I needed to get to my white t-shirt. It’s easy material to rip and can soak up quite a bit of the blood from my wounds. I use my teeth and my good arm to rip my shirt in half. I use half of it to make a tourniquet for my leg while I wrap the other half around my middle to apply some pressure. 

Once I have my clothes back on, I somehow manage to get my belt off and create a sling for my arm. Great. Now that that’s done I can get the hell out of here. I use my good arm to help push myself to my feet before I can take in the sight before me. 

I look around and see all the destruction we’ve caused. There’s train parts everywhere that’s enclosed in fire and smoke. Luckily this wasn’t a train that was used for public transportation. There were only a few German officers on the actual train and the conductor, but that doesn’t stop me from seeing the pain I’ve caused. 

All I can see is wounded men around me. It’s been a while since I’ve seen anything like this but it hits differently knowing that I caused this. I was the one that approved this mission as well as the bomb. This is on me. 

I stagger over to one of the unconscious guards and swipe his pistol. I don’t expect to run into anybody in the woods but I’m not taking any chances. 

Crittendon’s POV:  
“Roll call! Roll call!” Schultz yelled as he entered the barracks and turned on the lights. 

“We’re coming Schultz,” Newkirk sighed as I watched the men slowly get out of bed and walked outside. 

“Everybody presented and accounted for,” Schultz told Klink once he asked for his daily report. 

“I have some bad news men. The train that Colonel Hogan was being transported on unfortunately blew up yesterday afternoon,” he explained as a sad expression came across his face, “There is no sign of Colonel Hogan. We suspect he was too close to the origin of the blast to have anything remain. I did however go to the blast sight myself to be sure. I came across this and I thought it would be best if I returned this to you.” 

The men and I watched as Colonel Klink pulled out Hogan’s cap from behind his back. He stepped forward and gingerly gave it to Newkirk who held it to his chest. 

“I am sorry for your loss,” Klink said sadly to the men as tears formed in his eyes, “You are dismissed.” 

“Alright men! Line up! It’s time for our calisthenics,” I exclaimed as I took Hogan’s hat from Newkirk’s hands, “I will put this in the barracks and then we will begin.” 

“The hell you will!” LeBeau snapped as he grabbed Hogan’s hat back, “We will not be doing any workout this morning!” 

“Why not?” I asked. 

“Why not?” Newkirk asked, “You can’t expect us to workout after receiving news that our Colonel is dead.” 

“How could this be news when you knew he was dead yesterday?” I asked. 

“Unbelievable,” Kinch sighed, “It’s official because Klink went to the bomb sight himself. He didn’t find anything of Hogan besides his hat which is ours by the way. Not yours.” 

“This isn’t something that we can forget overnight sir,” Carter said, “Over time we will get better but we will never fully recover from Colonel Hogan’s death.” 

“Very well,” I sighed as I realized this death is going to take time for them to process, “I will leave you men to mourn for Colonel Hogan.” 

“That’s all we ask sir,” Kinch said before I watched the men return to the barracks. 

Hogan’s POV:  
I’ve finally made it a mile from the bomb site. Improvement sure but I have five grueling miles to go. I stumble my way through the woods, hoping I’m not leaving some sort of a blood trail to be followed by. 

I take a break and lean against a tree to check on my injuries. My leg and side are throbbing while my head is pounding. My arm doesn’t help either since it has to be in a homemade sling and hurts to the touch. I take a deep breath before I push myself off the tree and start my way towards camp again. 

Carter’s POV:  
“Do you think it hurt?” I asked the guys as we sat in Colonel Hogan’s room. 

“Did what hurt?” Kinch asked. 

“Colonel Hogan,” I answered as I looked around his room, “Do you think he was in pain while he died? Or do you think it was instant?” 

“For his sake I hope he died instantly,” LeBeau sighed, “It’s hard to imagine him suffering especially because of something we did.” 

“I’ve been thinking about that,” Newkirk said, “Look, we’ve never been one to cause harm to someone to get the job done. The one time we did it cost us the life of our best man.” 

“What are you getting at?” LeBeau asked. 

“What do you say that we don’t cause any more harm? We can have bombs and guns but we would only use them in a way that wouldn’t cause harm?” he suggested. 

“That’s a great idea!” LeBeau exclaimed, “I’m in.” 

“Me too,” I said. 

“Same here,” Kinch said. 

“You know,” I said as I looked at my friends, “Colonel Hogan would be proud of us. We came up with a good plan without him. A plan that could save lives.” 

“He would be proud,” Kinch said, “It’s a shame that he can’t be here with us to see it through though.” 

“He is here Kinch,” I said as I tapped the part of my chest just over my heart, “He’ll always be here.” 

\-----Sunset-----  
Hogan’s POV:  
The pain in my side is starting to become too much. I’m starting to get dizzy and stumble even more from losing too much blood.

I finally get to a part of the woods that looks familiar when my leg gives out and I drop to the ground. I lose my grip on the gun and put more pressure on my broken arm. I rest my head on my good arm as I try to get everything under control. I slow my breathing down and try to think of anything but the pain. I’m almost home. I have a mile to go so I choose to focus on that. 

I slowly get to my knees as I strengthen my hold on my gun. I finally make it to my feet so I can keep walking towards the camp. 

My body is fighting against me. Trying, begging with me to stop and rest. I can’t. If I stop I know I won’t get back up again. I have to keep going before I pass out from losing so much blood. 

\-----Evening Roll Call-----  
Carter’s POV:  
“Report!” Klink yelled as he walked towards us. 

“Everyone present and accounted for Kommandant,” Schultz answered. 

“Gentlemen, I have some news regarding Hogan’s funeral arrangements,” Klink started as I noticed someone emerge from the woods outside the camp. 

“Hey!” I exclaimed as I pointed to the mystery man as he fell, “There’s a man outside the fence! He’s hurt!” 

“Schultz call for an ambulance,” Klink ordered as he started towards the gates. 

“Who is it?” LeBeau asked. 

“Do you think he’s alright?” Newkirk asked as we walked up to the fence and saw the man up close for the first time. 

“Is that?” I asked. 

“Colonel Hogan!” Klink yelled, “Open the gates!” 

“But sir,” the guard protested. 

“You will open the gates and let me and Hogan’s men through right now or you will be on your way to the Russian Front tomorrow!” he snapped, “Now open these gates!” 

“Yes sir,” he said as he gestured to the other guard to open them. 

Newkirk’s POV:  
I ran to Colonel Hogan and gently turned him over so his upper body was resting against me. 

“He’s out cold!” I exclaimed as I saw the blood on his head and his side as well as the makeshift tourniquet on his leg, “He’s bleeding everywhere. Give me something to help apply some pressure.” 

“Here,” LeBeau said as he gave me his scarf. 

“Thanks,” I said as I pressed it down onto Colonel Hogan’s side hard enough to try and ease the bleeding. 

“Mmm,” Colonel Hogan groaned at the sudden pressure on his side. 

“Take it easy Robert,” Klink soothed as he patted his good arm, “You’re in safe hands now.” 

“Here comes the ambulance,” Crittendon said as he saw it approaching. 

We stood back and watched them put Colonel Hogan on to the stretcher and into the back of the ambulance. 

“There is room for one of you to come with me,” Klink said. 

“As the Senior POW officer it is only right,” Crittendon started. 

“Shut up will ya!” I interrupted as I stepped in front of Klink, “I will go with you sir.” 

“Very well,” he said as he motioned for me to climb into the back of the ambulance. 

“You’re gonna be alright sir, just hang on,” I told Colonel Hogan as I held his hand, “You’ll be right as rain before you know it.” 

We finally pulled up to the hospital and all Klink and I could do was watch them take Colonel Hogan away. I sighed and looked down to realize I had the Colonel’s blood on my hands. I excused myself and went to the bathroom to scrub it off. 

I can’t believe he’s alive! I know people use the phrase “it’s a miracle” too often but this really is a miracle. He survived a bombing and walked 5 miles back to camp. This is one of the few times Colonel Hogan’s stubbornness paid off. 

“Sir,” I said as I exited the restroom and walked up to Klink, “With Colonel Hogan back does that mean Crittendon isn’t our Senior POW anymore?” 

“He will remain the Senior POW officer until Colonel Hogan is well enough to take over. When that time comes, I will personally mail the transfer letters myself,” he answered. 

“You want Crittendon gone as much as we do?” I asked as I sat next to him. 

“Of course,” he said as he nodded, “I don’t want to wake up every day hearing orders of calisthenics. I’d rather hear the brilliant Colonel Hogan in the midst of coming up with another prank, even if the prank is pulled on me. Don’t tell anyone I said that.” 

“I won’t sir,” I said, secretly happy that Colonel Klink feels the same way. 

“You know,” he started, “It takes great strength and bravery to do what he did. I mean the thought of being in an explosion, getting severely wounded, and walking five miles to safety is astonishing.” 

“Well that’s Colonel Hogan for you, he’s full of surprises,” I told him as a doctor walked towards us. 

“How is he?” Klink asked. 

“He’ll make it won’t he?” I asked. 

“He will make it but it will be a long recovery for Mr. Hogan. He needed stitches in his leg and side. His arm is in a cast and we have a bandage on his head,” he explained, “If all goes well then he can be out of here in a week. He is awake now, but a little drowsy, if you want to see him.” 

“Yes, what room is he in?” Klink asked. 

“He’s in the room at the end of the hallway on the right,” he answered as he pointed towards Colonel Hogan’s room, “Come and get me if there’s any problems.” 

“Colonel Hogan. How are you feeling?” Klink asked as we each went to sit on a side of his bed. 

“Never better,” he sighed as he looked at us with tired eyes, “How are you guys?” 

“We’re fine sir,” I said as I sniffled, “It’s you we’re worried about.” 

“I’ll be fine,” he said as he patted my hand, “I’ll be ready to go in no time.” 

“Get some rest sir,” I gently said as I saw his eyelids start to droop, “We’re right here.” 

\-----Back at Camp-----  
Newkirk’s POV:  
“How is he?” LeBeau asked. 

“Is he alive?” Kinch asked. 

“How bad is he hurt?” Carter asked. 

“Quiet! Quiet!” I exclaimed as I held my hands up, “I will tell you everything once I get a chance to say something.” 

“Sorry,” LeBeau said as we sat at the table. 

“The doctor said he’s going to be fine. His arm is in a cast and they put a bandage on his head. He has stitches in his leg and side so he is going to be moving slow for a while,” I explained, “They said that if he’s recovering as expected then he will be back here in a week.” 

“A week! You hear that guys?” LeBeau said as he smiled. 

“What about Crittendon? Did you ask Klink about that?” Kinch asked. 

“Klink wanted Crittendon gone as much as we do. He said that once Colonel Hogan is well enough to take over again that he’d personally mail the transfer papers himself!” I said, “Isn’t that great?” 

“I can’t wait until he’s out of here,” Carter sighed, “My whole body is sore from all the calisthenics he’s having us do every day.” 

“He’ll be gone soon Carter,” Kinch said. 

\-----Hogan’s Return-----  
LeBeau’s POV:  
“Just take it easy sir,” Newkirk said as he helped Colonel Hogan walk to his room, “We can go as slow as you need to.” 

“Okay,” he sighed as he slowly walked to his room, careful about the stitches in his leg. 

“There you are sir,” I said as I pulled the blankets over him once we got him into bed, “Is there anything I can get you? Water? Food? I can make you anything you’d like.” 

“No thanks LeBeau. Maybe later,” he responded, “I’d like to get some sleep if you fellas don’t mind.” 

“Not at all sir,” Newkirk said as he headed towards the door only to see Crittendon in the doorway, “What do you want?” 

“Just to say a few words to Hogan if that’s alright,” he asked. 

“Fine,” I sighed as we left to give the two of them some privacy. 

Crittendon’s POV:  
“What do you need, Crittendon?” he asked. 

“I just wanted to let you know what good men you’ve got Colonel Hogan,” I answered, “They stood up to me and were going to risk their lives to save you.” 

“That doesn’t surprise me,” he said. 

“Once they thought you were dead, they felt horrible. They wanted to do you justice so they came up with a plan to not cause anyone any harm while on a mission. We’ve done a couple small ones since then and it’s been working out well,” I told him, “I just wanted to let you know how much you’re loved. Newkirk punched me and didn’t care if he was court martialed. Carter stood up and defended you, they all did. You have a great bunch of men under your command.” 

“That I do,” he said as he smiled a little. 

“I’ll be on my way now,” I said as I put on my hat, “Colonel Klink is having me transferred to Stalag 9, as it should be.” 

“Until we meet again,” he said as he held out his good arm. 

“Until then,” I responded as I shook his hand before I turned to leave the great Colonel Hogan and his men.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing this. I am really proud of what I've done here which is hard for me to do. Anyway, please let me know what you think of it down below!


End file.
